If you’re thinking of making the sacred choice of learning Spanish, we suggest you start with the profane.
The Gymglish team has delicately selected five Spanish swear words we hope will both shock and delight you. Warning: NSFW, or should we say “Not safe for trabajo”? Probably not because that’s nonsense. Onwards!
Gonorrea is one of Latin America’s most popular swear words, and we have a burning desire to know why. Is it because it refers to one of the world’s most virulent STDs? Perhaps, but Spanish speakers use it to describe an unpleasant or dirty situation and/or person. Do not take this insult lightly.
Example: ¡Qué gonorrea este curso de español!
Translation: This Spanish course sucks!*
*Note: we definitely aren’t making reference to our online Spanish course Hotel Borbollón. In no way do they resemble gonorrhea.
Me cago en todo lo que se menea
Spanish can be scatological – we know because the Cagatió told us so. Me cago en todo lo que se menea is the perfect insult when you’re irritated, annoyed and literally ready to “s*** on anything that moves”.
Note: A surprising number of Spanish profanities involve defecating. Try using “Me cago en…” at the beginning of each sentence. Do not worry, you will be hailed as a hero for your potty-talk.
– Te has olvidado las llaves
– Me cago en todo lo que se menea
– You forgot your keys!
– I’m going to take a dump on anything that moves
One of the most popular blasphemes in Spanish culture is hostia, a slang term literally referring to the body of Christ, as well as the “host”, the wafer given out during Holy Communion. Do not be fooled, as hostia as a curse can be translated as “bloody hell” or “damn” in English. Be careful with this one, friends, you may have some friends on high who don’t approve.
Example: ¡Hostia, llega la policía! ¡Escondámonos!
Translation: Bloody hell, the police is coming! Hide!
Vete a freír espárragos
If you’re lacking vitamin K and feel the need to indulge in some healthy foods, this next curse word is just what you’re looking for. Vete a freír espárragos – literally “go fry some asparagus” – actually translates as “go f*** yourself”. The term goes back to the 19th century when asparagus was only boiled – frying it was considered a complete waste of time.
– No quiero vacunarme.
– ¡Vete a freír espárragos!
– I don’t want to get the vaccine.
– Go f*** yourself!
Eres más feo que pegar a un padre con un calcetín sudado
“You’re uglier than hitting your own father with a dirty sock”. It’s funny because it’s true. No offense, dads. If the physical aspect of your enemy isn’t to your liking, feel free to use this grievous insult (even though it may take you some time to memorize it).
Example: Eres amable pero más feo que pegar a un padre con un calcetín sudado. Seamos amigos.
Translation: You’re a nice person, but you’re uglier than hitting your own father with a dirty sock. Let’s be friends.
We hope this list hasn’t ruined our chances at friendship, and someday maybe more. If you wish to learn other nuances of the Spanish language, try our online Spanish course Hotel Borbollón for free for 7 days.
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